Welcome Marcel. It certainly sounds like you have quite a Mini problem.
Your story reminded my about a couple of friends and their Mini van in the late 60's early 70's. There seemed to be lots of red mini vans around in the North of England at the time - perhaps ex the Post Office. For whatever reason, the engine needed to come out of my friends' van and of course we had no lifting gear. So a length of timber and some rope was employed between the 3 of us. Repairs were effected and we reinstalled the engine as we had taken it out. However we had removed the distributor and needed to re-time the engine. We got the van running, but not very well. Being the stupid 16 year old petrolhead I was (and at 65 still am) I suggested that in the absence of a timing light or rolling road, that I ride on the right hand guard (wing) with my feet in the engine bay as one of my friends drove the van down a straight bit of road in 3rd gear. He was to call out the mph and I was to rotate the distributor to yield the highest mph call. All worked out as anticipated and nobody died... Complete madness looking back
